Final Thoughts on Radical Romance

Throughout this semester I truly feel I have been enlighted to what is really liberating for men and women. When looking at the portrayl of a man or woman in mass media I never really looked in depth to what society's message of the relationships of males and females. Shows like "Sex and the City," movies such as "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and books like "Breakfast at Tiffany's" were personally watched simply for entertainment value. But, I learned that these sort of movies, shows and books are channels for society to establish roles and standards for men and women. Mass media has an hidden agenda to keep society in it's norms which function to serve American capitalistic society. The main thing that opened up my eyes to a caplitalistic agenda, especially since I am a woman, is the portrayl of women in media. The idealized "slender body" as described in Cultural Studies by Chris Barker is pushed into the American audiences face through mass media. Women in today's American culture strive for the perfection society generalizes. Television shows, movies, books and otherwise seem to put out an idea of a radicial romance but I think that there really is no such thing in current day American culture. The ideals of a woman staying home, man going to work, male being dominate and female being subordinate are just enstilled in American minds by so-called radical romance depicted by mass media. The roles men and woman play in daily life help to serve the American capitalist machine and to keep men and women in place media performs reverse phychology by making fun of the norms men and women would like to break and then again enstilling these same norms in a subtle undertone. Radical Romance? Maybe to some, but not to me.

Hugh Hefner and his Twentieth Century Girls Next Door: Revised and Extended

Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy and indeed quintessential playboy of his time, is infamous for having many girlfriends who are 40 to 50 years his junior, blonde, voluptuous and drop dead gorgeous. Hefner decided to air his not so conventional romantic relationships on television on August 7, 2005. He co-founded his first ever reality television show “The Girls Next Door” and let America into his everyday life dating three live-in girlfriends. America had always seen his entourage of women at his side through media but society has never had a chance to get to know them as they have always been nameless blonde bombshells. It is not typical that we as American’s accept a situation where one man is dating three women, particularly when the women are so much younger than the man. But, as Hefner has put his relationships into the media, society has found a new respect for these women and they are no longer nameless but, now they are seen as individuals: Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt, and Kendra Wilkinson. These women in the spotlight of Hollywood are choosing to partake in a relationship that breaks American societal norms for monogamous “boyfriend and girlfriend” relationships. The idea that one 80-year-old man can have consistent intimate relationship with three women in their 20’s and 30’s is extremely radical in American culture. Although the reality television show “The Girls Next Door” on the surface, depicts twenty first century romantic relationships that can be seen as radical, the show actually reinforces societal norms placed on men and women through its mass media channel further enforcing gender expectations in American society.

In Simone de Beauvior’s feminist book The Second Sex, Beauvoir states “Thus humanity is male and man defines women in herself but as relative to him; she is not regarded as an autonomous being”(Beauvoir). Holly, Kendra and Bridget live in relation to Hefner. They are commonly referred to in society as “Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends.” These women are not their own entities: they live under Hefner’s rules, in his house and by his relationship standards. This goes back to the societal stereotypes assigned to the way an intimate relationship between a female and male should function. Women are expected to be seen, not heard and men are expected to be the financial supported of the female in their relationship. Hefner puts these women up in his home and allows them to have a fantasy lifestyle, but at what cost? The women of “The Girls Next Door” have to share their boyfriend with three if not many other women, they have a 9 p.m. curfew and they are seen as his objects of possession even though they have a voice and identity through way of their reality show.

Women who see this program are given the message that attaining the physical perfection depicted by these playmates on the show they too will be able to catch a man who will provide an extravagant lifestyle. This leads to generalized conceptions of a beautiful body and American obsession with plastic surgery. “The Girls Next Door” functions as a mass media channel to promote the American ideal of a perfect body for the female. American’s today are consumed with looking younger and more beautiful and have turned to plastic surgery and other beauty procedures as a product of the ideals of female beauty created and marketed by mass media. The Playboy industry itself defines beauty as tan, large breasted and practically physically flawless. For some women who pose for Playboy this ideal is attained by tanning beds and plastic surgery. Women who pose for Playboy are seen largely by the male population as extremely attractive and women will go to extreme lengths to look like women who pose in Playboy.

In Susan Bordo’s article “Material Girl”: The Effacements of Postmodern Culture she describes postmodern culture as one that has become plastic surgery obsessed and under the impression that bodies can be modeled in any way imaginable. Bordo states, “Popular culture does not apply any brakes to these fantasies of rearrangement and self-transformation. Rather, we are constantly told that we can ‘choose’ our own bodies” (Bordo). Women can choose to look like the women in Playboy by obtaining expensive and painful surgeries. Women can even take pictures of Holly’s breasts or Kendra’s buttocks into their plastic surgeon and simply say, “Give me that.” Through seeing these women on television live a life of luxury because of their looks sends the message to the women watching the show, “change your body and achieve success.” Bordo refers to women and goes on to say, “If we are never happy with ourselves, it is implied, that is due to our female nature, not to be taken too seriously or made into a ‘political question’”(Bordo). Society simply sees women’s issues with their bodies as human nature. The cause of body issues are not looked at as maybe being caused by mass media and the portrayal of feminine beauty in mass media. Capitalists will never let the blame lie with themselves for mass medias on the female body image and self-esteem as capitalists reap the benefits of having women unhappy with their bodies. The plastic surgery industry thrives from society’s low self-esteem and desire for perfection.

In Cultural Studies by Chris Barker, Barker states that in western societies the idea of the slender body for a woman is idealized, “Among the more powerful and influential representations of women within western culture is that of the ‘slender body’” (Barker 310). “The Girls Next Door” is a powerful and influential program in American society as these women post as role models and icons for what a woman’s body should look like. American society gets to know the women through the reality show and identifies with the women and in relation want to look like these women. The women of “The Girls Next Door” are slender and attain perfect bodies by American standards. Barker goes on to say, “Slenderness and a concern with diet and self-monitoring are preoccupations of western media culture with its interest in a ‘tighter, smoother, more constrained body profile.’” (Barker 310). Through media western society generalizes a body which all women should strive to attain. Although most women cannot have this “perfect body” described by American culture as they are genetically predisposed to another body type, many American women will go to great lengths to achieve a socially perfect body by resorting to plastic surgery and other beauty procedures. Men as well as women have to live up to societal standards created from genders. Even though men may not have to be physically perfect by western standards it is assumed that they are financially stable.

Hugh Hefner himself is put under the pressure of society to provide financially for these women and his children. He is the bread winner and is expected to take care of all of the women in his life. His ex-wife and children live in the home next door to the Playboy mansion in Beverly Hills where he fully supports two households. Hefner demonstrates the “typical” male characteristics as describe in the book Cultural Studies by Chris Barker, “In general terms, traditional masculinity has encompassed the values of strength, power, stoicism, action, control, independence, self-sufficiency, male camaraderie/mateship and work amongst others. Devalued were relationships, verbal ability, domestic life, tenderness, communication, women and children” (Barker 302). Hefner is all of the above and as such is seen in society by men as an “alpha male.” Hefner is surrounded by sex and money, two things that males use to define their success in today’s society. In the reality television show Hefner is seen by American society as devaluing relationships and women through his lifestyle and relationship choices. However, even though his relationship choice is looked down upon by American society many people still tune in every week and condone his actions. Americans for whatever reason do not look down upon Hugh Hefner and his lifestyle.

One of Hefner’s girlfriend’s unhappiness with the relationship is seen through her obvious desire for children. Time and time again Hefner’s girlfriend Holly is seen on the show mentioning children and marriage and Hefner, most of the time, ignores her comments. Even in an interview with Star Magazine Hefner’s girlfriend Bridget, when asked if Hefner will be changing diapers, states “Yeah, that'll never happen, unless they make him do it. He already said, ‘I'm not going to be raising the kid, it'll be your thing’” (Marquadrt). Hefner here is enforcing the societal norm that women are supposed to care and raise the children while the man has no obligation to the child, expect financially. Barker states that, “Men are commonly held to be more “naturally’ domineering, hierarchically oriented and power-hungry, while women are seen as nurturing, child rearing and domestically inclined” (Barker 285). Hefner and Holly perfectly fit this scenario of female and male in their relation to each other. Hefner is held above his women as he is the successful business man who built his company from the ground up. His girlfriend Holly is the stay at home woman who yearns for children and a “normal” lifestyle. Madison’s unhappiness reaches its peak when this year she announced that after a seven year relationship with Hefner they would be splitting up in an interview with Alison Waite of the American entertainment news show “Extra,” Holly candidly admits, “I want to be with somebody I can have more of a future with eventually. Hef and I can't get married and have kids...so it was fun while it lasted but it wasn't right for my old age. I got too old for Hef”(Madison). Although the extravagant lifestyle Holly lead was as she stated “fun” she wanted normalcy in her life that consisted of children which is the one thing Hefner could not provide her.

Hefner’s “power-hungry” tendencies can be seen through girlfriend Bridget’s interview. When Bridget is confronted about Hefner’s ego and his reaction to the girls’ newfound attention in the media Bridget replies, “He's amazed. But say we're on the red carpet — when they want to do individual pictures, he totally doesn't get it” (Marquadrt). Even though Hefner has put his girlfriends into Hollywood spotlight he still does not understand why the media wants to take pictures of them without him, again reinforcing the idea that women are not seen as their own entity but as an extension of the man. Hefner is use to being the center of attention and essentially the man who runs the relationship. His yearning for power is seen extensively through his possessive tendencies with his girlfriends.

The reality television show “The Girls Next Door” has brought light to

Hugh Hefner’s radical romance of the twentieth century. Without the television show society would not be able to seen the struggles some of the women have participating in this type of relationship. These women would remain nameless and would have continued to seem as though they are only objects of Hugh Hefner’s desire and not real humans. Although they are now real humans, Americans need to come to terms with the negative effects of mass media’s stereotypes for males and females. There are dangers in the norms set up for men and women in not only American society but western society as a whole. Women will continue to strive for the western idea of the perfect body through surgeries and beauty procedures that could be potentially fatal and men in western societies will be so power and money-hungry they will be consumed with stress. These kind of stereotypes and normalcy’s only breed a generation of unhappiness as society will never been satisfied.




Works Cited

Barker, Chris, and Paul Willis. Cultural Studies : Theory and Practice.Minneapolis: SAGE Publications, Limited, 2008.

De Beauvior, Simone. "Introduction: Woman as Other." The Second Sex. New York: Vintage.

Marquadrt, Bridget. "Star Exclusive: The Girls Next Door's Bridget Tells All!" Interview with Julia Allison. Star Magazine 17 Sept. 2007.

Bordo, Susan. "Material Girl: The Effacements of Postmodern Culture." Michigan Quarterly Review (1990).

Madison, Holly. "Holly Madison Talks Hefner Break Up, Calls Hef "High Maintenance"" Interview with Alison Waite. The Huffington Post. 3 Nov. 2008. 10 Dec. 2008 .